This Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! It's the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we consider the television offerings of the recent year, a handful of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from awkward sequels to bafflingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this divisive follow-up? Burdened with dreadful scripts, cringe-inducing arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show struggled to justify its existence. For a moment, as the final season began, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then came an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner declared this would be the final series. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo full of poo was just way too symbolic. Yet, fans certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? Of course she can’t.’

But that was almost the least of this show's problems. The subject of a very rare no-star review, it was hard to know where to begin listing the flaws. The hilariously wooden writing? The tedious glorification of affluence and consumption? The almost wilful parade of cliches? Acting so bad they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and forget about this series again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the legal troubles, abuse allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have gleaned it from this multi-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any sympathy this series might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but dismissive narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the outset: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into twee lifestyle as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are forced to concede that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Rather, the viewing was akin to reading a marketing brochure. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this guarded non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something far greater than it.

Too Much

How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted younger comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lurching from strangely jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? No! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and killing off – academics honestly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for explicit escapades as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.